Tag Archives: sickness

Book Tuesday – Martha

Welcome back to Book Tuesday and the eerie story of Martha.  If you missed last week’s instalment, please click here to catch up. Continue reading

One Month To Live

I wrote a short story about about a daughter following her mother’s final days on earth and how quickly the time elapsed.  From one month, it turned to far less.  How ironic is it that after writing this book nearly twenty years ago, I am living the nightmare? Continue reading

Bird

Last breath, last touch

Fluttering eyelids mean so much

Last sun, first tear

Time drawing ever near

Last flower, last breeze

No-one to break the silence

Like my big sneeze!

Last count of the final hour

Good-bye to my Bird

As she leaves her tower.

Copyright held by Eloise De Sousa (2015).

Pic courtesy of http://www.modern50.com

Bird


Soft and plush

Skin so lush
Never a wrinkle
Only a blush
Snuggled and dear
Face not clear
Hidden with twinkling eyes
So clear
Feisty to all
Having a ball
Shirking death
With every breath
Counting the days
Seeing she’s okay
Not long to go
Pain will show
Until the last
Breath has passed
My bird will stay
Hidden away
Under the covers
Everyday.

Bird

Why the tear?

Bird is still here

No point in weeping yet

With nothing to fear.

Why the cry?

Birdseed in your eye?

Save it for when she really

Starts to die!

Copyright held by Eloise De Sousa(2015)

Pic courtesy of weheartit.com

If We Were Having Coffee

Hi!

I usually have my coffee date with you on a Monday, but I missed you so much I thought it would be okay to meet a day earlier. My hot chocolate is pretty weak today and something stronger is required. It’s Easter and I haven’t even wished you yet,so Happy Easter!! How was your weekend so far? Did you get a break? Continue reading

Bird

“Hello Bird!  I hear you’ve been naughty again!” I said.

“No I have not and I’m NOT going to the hospital!” was her welcoming reply. Continue reading

The Voiceless

100voiceslogo
Trapped in a skin now slack
Barely enough movement in my back
Crowing noise is all I can say
To greet you through the day
Faces come and go
No kind word left to show
This fading memory
Of what I used to be. Continue reading

Happy #Wensfriesday!

Today is Ash Wednesday and the start of Lent. For many, it will be the start of fasting and giving up something enjoyable for the next forty days. I stopped doing that a long time ago.

Instead, I prefer to try taking up something that will help others, be it volunteering, praying more (for others!), giving away necessary things for others in need or trying to say more positive things to others and avoid gossip. Sacrificing my favourite sweet or meat (namely Biltong!) leaves me craving and unhappy and I tend to forget the whole reason behind the sacrifice. I don’t like that feeling and would rather embrace something that brings me closer to my faith.

Unfortunately this week will not see me eating sweets as it is Ash Wednesday and I will probably be at the hospital with my mum where I refrain from eating or drinking anything (Germs! Germs! Germs!). My little miracle mother is getting better, contrary to the constant message of her impending death from her consultant. Strangely enough I haven’t seen him since her improvement, though I’m sure he will come tell me that he is happy with her recovery and as he told me, it could happen! Won’t be the first time this has happened. If she regresses again, well I will shake his hand and tell him he called it. Can’t do much more than that.

Wishing you all a positive Lent and enough stamina to stay the course if you do decide to give something up.

Love and blessings to you all.

Xxx

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Pic of my daughter’s Valentine’s Day biscuits

Saturday Night Confessions

Tear the facade away. Open the beating heart and rip out the chambers filled with essence of youth. Ring the timer on life itself and give the last call. Drinks are on me.

As I confess my lack of elegance and maturity when dealing with death, I giggle at the obscure emotion – mourning. My mouth fills with bile as I try to swallow down reality whilst portraying calmness for those around me. Cry, scream, shred the walls down – do something but don’t sit still. Watching doctors dictate destiny diligently to delinquent daughters whilst they fight and strain not to cry through the news that Mummy is not coming back makes me admire the strength and emotional blackout doctors manage with each patient.

If my mother survives this week I confess I might have the pleasure of visiting the hospital and maybe poking the austere arrogance right out of his checkered shirt. I had a doctor friend like that once. Is that what young doctors grow into? Arrogant unemotional consultants? I blame death for the changes.

On a lighter note than death, I must confess I miss celebrating Valentines Day. Yup, I’m a romantic and love to be romanced. Nothing expensive or ridiculous but a little effort doesn’t hurt. We lie to ourselves that we don’t like a little romance and throw stones at the idea of naming a special day. Ever heard of birthdays and anniversaries? Special days people…all special days to commemorate love. If you’re single there is nothing stopping you from giving a stranger something nice to smile about on this day – nothing weird though! Share the love through kindness. That could be done on any day but let’s start with one and work from there. Small steps.

Okay, your turn. Some of you shared your confessions last week. Thank you for being brave. I’ve shared my fear of dealing with death and passion for celebrating love. What’s your confession?