This is a poem I wrote the year my mum passed away. Even though Christmas has passed, I thought I would share it again as a special tribute to her, my little bird!
I tried to forget you yesterday
Pretended the day wasn’t about you
No celebration, no memorial or tasteful display
Just a drink and a quick prayer to chase out blues
Now the clock is ticking
Santa is drawing near
We’ve put up your Christmas decoration
Since you won’t be here
No struggling, cursing, crying
To get you through the door
And the happy sense of achievement
When your wheels touch the kitchen floor
We won’t choose the meal together
Since last year’s meal was your last
No fighting over whose house to visit
Now that you’re in the past
I’m going to try not to miss you
When I don’t see you sitting there
Children reaching to open their presents
They’ve kept back, so that moment, with you, they could share
Every minute of Christmas this year
Will breathe in for a new tradition
As you, dear Mum won’t be there
Since you’ve taken a life-long intermission.
Posted in Poetry, Weekly Trail
Tagged blogging, blogs, christmas, death, family, loss, love, mother, poems, poetry, sadness
I still feel an overwhelming sense of loss when I hear this song, and I feel like crying. But then I remember how much you loved this song and the way you smiled when it played.
I still miss you so,
It may only be six months,
But I miss you more
Time has given no comfort
I may smile and play
Laugh all day
But I still miss you so.
Now that you’ve gone
All the memories
Fights we’ve lost and won
Happy games we played
The children have grown
And my heart still groans
Because I still miss you so.
Special days, like anniversaries
And your birthday, don’t forget Christmas
As I plan each day, I pause to say
How Mum would have loved
Each of these moments
And I still miss you so.
My tears still fall on the inside
There’s no time to stall in this busy hive
So I move along and hum your favourite songs
Thinking of your smile, your jokes and wicked humour
The way you riled me so easily and we’d knock heads
No-one’s there to fill me with dread and laughter
So I still miss you so.
I’m closing another chapter. No, not one of my books, but life itself. It’s a pleasant yet somewhat scary feeling of moving forward and stepping over the tragedies of the past. My focus is still unclear and wavering, but the intention to move towards clarity is getting stronger. That’s excitement right there!
At the end of this chapter, the feeling of overcoming so much which seemed little at the time makes me question my inner strength. Knowing that life’s book is unpredictable and sketchy at best, I’m trying to implement changes to make me happier. Not much time left if you think about it.
Now I have to tackle big projects that have been placed on hold for far too long. I’m clearing out my bat cave, ready for the future. Dreams might just become a reality with the right amount of effort. So, as I close off my Tuesday, thinking about books and life, I wonder, what would you change in your life to make your dreams come true?
I wrote a short story about about a daughter following her mother’s final days on earth and how quickly the time elapsed. From one month, it turned to far less. How ironic is it that after writing this book nearly twenty years ago, I am living the nightmare? Continue reading
Posted in Books, Weekly Trail
Tagged books, caring, death, emotions, humour, mother, parents, sickness, stories, waiting, work, writing
Soft and plush
Skin so lush
Never a wrinkle
Only a blush
Snuggled and dear
Face not clear
Hidden with twinkling eyes
Feisty to all
Having a ball
With every breath
Counting the days
Seeing she’s okay
Not long to go
Pain will show
Until the last
Breath has passed
My bird will stay
Under the covers
Posted in Poetry, Weekly Trail
Tagged bird, death, family, humour, mother, pain, parents, poems, poetry, sickness