Picture this:
You’re sitting at the coffee house, Mihran’s house band is playing and Harry is reciting some of the poetry from his blog. In walk your three favourite people in the whole world (these are the shiznits; the people that make you wake up in the morning and smile because they are still on this planet with you). The barista calls out your order and you find a larger sofa, snug enough to accommodate the three and big enough to allow your elbows to reach for coffee mugs steaming with your favourite beverage.
Suddenly, one of the three favourite people in your world disappear. Poof! Just like that. Forever. What would you do? Would you go searching for the one or watch over the two that remain next to you, upset but safe. The music plays on and the poetry takes a sombre tone. You don’t mind because in your head, you’ve lost someone that captured your heart at some point.
Now if you decided to run out and find the lost soul, your journey takes a sad turn. You end up close to the river that runs alongside the lane leading out from the coffee shop. Though the stars are there to witness your heartbreak, there is no-one to comfort you as you’ve left the coffee house. You can turn back. It’s up to you.
If you have decided to stay in the coffee house, your special two hold onto you as you confess how much it hurts to have lost one of them. They take it in turns to reassure you that they will be there for you and will comfort you in your time of sorrow. But…(you know where I’m going with this)…Poof! Another special someone disappears leaving the last one remaining. What do you do? Follow the same path as before or choose differently now that you know how the loss feels?
For those who run out after the lost soul, the same rule applies as before: you end up by the river, alone with the stars, weeping into the dark waters that don’t stop for time nor sorrow. Return to the coffee shop or go home, alone.
Those that stay and hold onto their last remaining special someone, you know what’s going to happen. I confess, it’s like playing Russian Roulette. I could lie to you and say your special someone is safe in your loving arms, never to be taken away, but life isn’t like that, is it? Just as you recover from one loss, another special person disappears from your life and leaves you bereft. Maybe I am too cynical for some, but reality bites. Shit happens. We all die.
In all honesty, I am that someone sitting on the yellow sofa, hugging onto my special someones. Each day, I watch them either disappear or someone close to them go and it hurts. It might not need to affect me directly, but their pain indirectly hurts because we all know what it’s going to feel like. It’s similar to taking your firstborn to their first round of vaccinations. You know that it’s inevitable and a necessary part of life, but you want to cry before the needle has even appeared!
My waffling today is driven by another loss; another person left this world and with their parting, a gaping hole appeared in the ether. I hope I don’t lose you – any of you, but I’m not naive enough to believe that you won’t go at some point. We all do, one way or another. At least, in this world, when you go, I know you will still be living on the same planet as me – maybe not following me and supporting me, but breathing and loving and eating. That for me is enough.
As I lift my mug and salute you, I thank you for being here, in my coffee house with me and sharing my madness. For after all, aren’t we all a bit crazy to believe we meet for coffee in the ethereal world? Maybe. Maybe not.
Goodnight.
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Thoughts by Mello-Elo 