Tag Archives: flu

Sicky Sicky Sicky All Night Long!

Good morning, good afternoon or good evening wherever you are in the world. This is the news from a small town in Berkshire, England.

Numerous families have been hit by the flu virus that is spreading like wildfire across the region. Sources confirm that most schools have reported low attendance over the past few weeks due to the viral outbreak. Not to be compared to Ebola of course, but nonetheless a serious matter for consideration for local doctors and hospitals. It has been said that if the number of infected keep growing, no-one will be well enough to cook the Christmas turkey, let alone keep it down long enough once consumed!

Closer to home, local mother Eloise, has given up on sleeping as she is now entering her third or fourth week of illness in her house. Thanks to the numerous children she decided to produce, each week brings new viral surprises for the family to share and enjoy at home. Her elder daughter felt that last week was particularly slow and therefore succumbed to a football injury to her wrist. She jokingly reported that if she hadn’t stopped the leather missile, she might not have had a nose on the front of her face today. Thanks to the aggressive footballers, she instead had torn tendons in her wrist. As an added bonus for being so careful, Eloise’s daughter caught the flu and stayed home with her mother for two days this week.

The ballet school known for winning most awards at festivals and trying to rival Abby Lee in the USA had to be shut down yesterday due to their teachers and students falling ill. Suffice it to say the studio was open the next day due to valiant efforts from sickly attendees. We await updates on how many more students will contract the flu thank to their generosity!

As this news bulletin is being broadcast at a time when the producer usually enjoys late movies, blogging and tweeting, we would like to point out that the producer herself is still ill but is on standby for the rest of the evening. This is due to the fact that another child had fallen ill with a fever and cold requiring frequent temperature checks to adjust clothing and covers accordingly. Paracetamol and water have been provided for this task. Flashbacks of having small babies again have been the running through the producer’s mind as she walks in the shadows and watches her sleeping family…and the pure amusement of listening to the Hubble’s snores as background noise.

Thank you for joining us on the Sickly News Round-up.

Keep well and enjoy the rest of your morning, afternoon or evening!

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