Tag Archives: anger

Betrayed By The Moon

Betrayed by the moonAlienated from her waning smile

Living in the fiery heat of noon

Reprieve lost in my sarcastic guile.
Drowning in the dewdrops at dawn

Flowers crying for lost embraces

Silence as the twighlight mourns

Failure to show the moon my graces.

Burning in the midday sun

My passion’s sultry dance retracing

The poor flowers’ happy song

Hiding blushes from their hearts racing.
Show me to the moon

My betrayer with her beguiling tone

Apologies might be enticing

When my heart cries not to be alone.

Moody Monday

I’ve missed you all so much. It’s been a very long week and even longer weekend. My mum had the operation over the weekend and is still unresponsive. The wait is still not over. It’s makes me think of times when I was a child and my mum used to tell me to be patient. Wait! It will come in good time. Well, what if the waiting is not worth it?

How many years of our lives do we spend waiting for something good to happen, our dreams to come true, the man/woman you love to notice you? When does the waiting stop and action begin?

I want to shake the doctors, shake the nurses and scream at them to stop waiting and assessing and actually do something. Yes, I am ranting. I am impatient and finding it hard to get a grip; but wouldn’t you feel the same if you’ve been constantly pushing the medical profession to notice changes they should point out or push for results and scans they should be performing?

I had a lovely chat with a helpful nurse on Saturday. She kindly listened to my long story about my mother’s medical history. It’s practically become a song I sing to every new person I meet that is assigned to Mum. Once I had run through the spiel, she smiled and said, “you know, your mother is lucky you’re here to tell us about these little changes that you notice in her. If you hadn’t told me that she is less responsive today than yesterday when she returned from the operation, I wouldn’t have worried about the obs results and called the doc to order another CT! Keep telling us what you see. It may save your mother’s life! ”

I was distraught. I knew I wouldn’t be able to drive the hour long trip today to be with Mum and now had a huge fear hanging over my head that they wouldn’t notice any changes in her today, when I’m not there. Phoning doesn’t help. They give the same answers to my questions and promise the doctor will call in the afternoon. He doesn’t. He’s busy with the hundreds of patients. My mum is invisible again and I am the only one shining a beam on her for them to notice subtle changes.

It’s been a long Monday trying to catch up with the house, the kids and writing. It’s been even longer hoping that my mum would wake up fully and respond to commands…communicate…live.

Let’s hope Tuesday will be better.

Feelings!

Balking at your pure hatred of me
The sheer size of such ego feeds my curiosity.
Shirking warning signals from your horsey smile
Warnings blazing, telling me to run a mile,
I enter with bated breath to see how far you carry
A chip so large your shoulder looks saggy!

Beatings, abuse, neglect I feel
Not by your temper but lack of greeting skill!
Alas, should I cry with laughter or shame
At a lack of etiquette, upbringing of Cain?
Seismic laughs shake my brain
As you insinuate my existence is lame.

Poor integrity on your part I see
The last resort to un-name me.
Address my neighbour with such gusto
Eyes sharp as lasers to watch me cringe so.
As though I cared when in advance I declared you inept
And wash my hands of any predisposed debt
To allow you to shame me with your art of hypocrisy.
What you show your son, is that what you show me?

Un-hand the red letter, release your lust of hate
No apologies will be uttered to clear the slate.
Two cats as male lovers? Not I think.
You have a better chance of cleaning out a skunk’s stink!
The same emotions I feel for you,
You reciprocate with fervour
Ending my dealings with you. Therefore I shall not mention you further.