The hot chocolate and shortbread staring at me from the odd shaped cup and saucer shaped like a hand and lips make me giggle. I’d love to run my fingers over the contours and ask the barista where they bought their quirky crockery from. But, my mood is too gloomy for that. It’s a dreary Monday and I’m feeling blue!
The coffee shop is busy as usual and my lovely blogging friends are drifting in and out like passing ships on tourists’ honeymoons. Everyone seems pre-occupied whilst I swim in my dark, gloomy state in the corner, sipping sweet hot chocolate and nibbling my shortbread. You might ask what is bringing me down? Well, if I had an answer to that I would have solved the dilemma a long time ago. The gloom shifts, fades and reappears at odd times of the year. When I should be rejoicing another school term, I sink into my abyss and snuggle with dark thoughts, cuddling up to pity and squirrelling under a blanket of leave-me-alone! Even my close friends know to leave me alone until my mind and body decide to reset themselves. The rain, grey and more grey just add ambience to an already down state of mind.
Watching and reading the blogs floating by pre-occupies my mind before I hit a blank wall again, bouncing back to the beginning of doom! Does anyone else ever feel this way? If so, please come sit by me and slap the shit out of me until I reset my clock because it’s frustrating feeling this way.
On a more positive note, whilst we sip our coffee, tea, espresso or tequila (I’m not judging!), I went to visit a friend who has been transferred to a nursing home for the next three weeks. She has more life and vibrancy than me and I watch her suffer through her frailty whilst holding onto a sparkling personality that makes me feel inadequate. Her daughter is a strong, wonderful woman who should be given a medal for looking after her mum whilst the rest of the family turn their backs. I don’t know if you’re familiar with the story of the Little Red Hen. I see the moral of that little fable everywhere I go. You ask: who will help me with this chore? Not I, is the usual reply from family and friends. Maybe later is the kinder response. Who will help me make mum comfortable? Not I, for I’m too busy living! Who will help me clean the house, make it tick, watch it turn? Not I, nor I is the response I usually receive. When the time comes for a reward, who will be the first in line to demand a share? All the critters hanging back refusing to help now. I guess that’s life.
Okay I meant to end on an upbeat note so I’m going to mention my Book Tuesday. I have a special guest lined up for tomorrow who has stories that weave through history and,even if you’re not a fan to begin with, I guaranty you will be captured by his prose by the end of the story I’m posting. So, join me tomorrow to meet Howard Loring, an incredible writer.
Enjoy your coffee and be sure to share the Prosac! 😉