If We Were Having Coffee

Hi!

I usually have my coffee date with you on a Monday, but I missed you so much I thought it would be okay to meet a day earlier. My hot chocolate is pretty weak today and something stronger is required. It’s Easter and I haven’t even wished you yet,so Happy Easter!! How was your weekend so far? Did you get a break?

The week has been pretty busy. It was the last week of school and there were meetings, books to collect and topic books to prepare for next term for the teachers. I had a meeting planned with the Renal team for my mum’s continued care. Now that the nose bleeds have stopped and she is looking a bit more together, we thought we could move forward and establish a care plan for her. Unfortunately she decided not to attend the meeting and we had to come to the conclusion that she’s done. She’s had her share of fights to survive and this time she is not willing to participate in keeping herself alive. I might sound unfeeling and fickle about it, but I do realise how serious this is and the huge responsibility of respecting her wishes. She’s still my little bird, hiding under her covers in her permanent nest, refusing to face the ugliness of the world but not quite realising the implications of her decision.

As I sip my fresh cup of black sweet coffee with more than a hint of whiskey, I watch for your reaction to my news. Some take it well whilst others wait for me to burst into tears, hoping to comfort the rock in front of them. I don’t like crying. What can I say – childhood teaches you that tears are usually a waste of time. I would love to hear your opinion on this and slowly sip my steaming cup, inhaling the strong vapours as I listen to you.

So, I am now waiting for my mum to die. It’s ironic because when I wrote One Month to Live, it was based on my mother dying of cancer. I did think she would outlive me as she is a tough old bird and I never imagined living to forty! Well I guess we will see what the next few months hold. Now I have a confession to make. I took a week off to deal with everything. When the emotions are shut down, I tend to need less distractions in order to focus on a basic mode of parenting and working. I was afraid my posts would reflect my inner voices which would be depressing and a downright bore to read. Let’s hope you’ve escaped it, though I can hear the voices murmuring in dissension of this decision, plotting revenge! Be warned, they might still take over.

Apart from that, it’s been a good weekend. My little sprogs received loads of easter eggs from family and friends and we were lucky enough to see the sun this morning. I cooked a special lunch for Bird which meant we ate a little later than usual because the Hubble went to feed her. The sprogs had an easter egg hunt around the house and absolutely loved it. My little ballerina found the golden egg, much to the despair of the eldest who complained bitterly that no-one had told him to look for it! My favourite part of today was moving furniture around (it keeps me sane!) and looking at the awesome results. Now I’m back in your company and happy to be so.

Righ! Enough about me. Tell me about your week leading up to Easter. Were you overrun with errands and chores and did anyone else notice all the Easter eggs ran out at all the local shopping centres yesterday?? I can’t wait to hear about your week.