Desperately Seeking a Kazoo

The things we do for love…

Kate Shrewsday

Unknown“Hello, Tesco Helpline, How may I help you?”

How indeed.

“This,” I informed the person at the other end of the line in a call centre,”is rather an unorthodox enquiry. It may not be the easiest one you’ve ever had to answer..”

I paused. With Drama. Is that a Caesura? Not a wincingly surgical procedure but a dramatic pause in the middle of a line? I feel sure I learned about caesuras way back when when the minutiae of classical dramatic theory really mattered.

I will not deny that the pause, whilst dramatic, was also convenient. It gave me time to think. There was no easy way to say this.

“I have less than 24 hours,” I began falteringly, “to acquire a kazoo for my son. I have just been to scour the party favours in Sainsbury’s and there is nary a one there. I know. I sifted compulsively.”

I…

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