Saturday Night Confessions

Tear the facade away. Open the beating heart and rip out the chambers filled with essence of youth. Ring the timer on life itself and give the last call. Drinks are on me.

As I confess my lack of elegance and maturity when dealing with death, I giggle at the obscure emotion – mourning. My mouth fills with bile as I try to swallow down reality whilst portraying calmness for those around me. Cry, scream, shred the walls down – do something but don’t sit still. Watching doctors dictate destiny diligently to delinquent daughters whilst they fight and strain not to cry through the news that Mummy is not coming back makes me admire the strength and emotional blackout doctors manage with each patient.

If my mother survives this week I confess I might have the pleasure of visiting the hospital and maybe poking the austere arrogance right out of his checkered shirt. I had a doctor friend like that once. Is that what young doctors grow into? Arrogant unemotional consultants? I blame death for the changes.

On a lighter note than death, I must confess I miss celebrating Valentines Day. Yup, I’m a romantic and love to be romanced. Nothing expensive or ridiculous but a little effort doesn’t hurt. We lie to ourselves that we don’t like a little romance and throw stones at the idea of naming a special day. Ever heard of birthdays and anniversaries? Special days people…all special days to commemorate love. If you’re single there is nothing stopping you from giving a stranger something nice to smile about on this day – nothing weird though! Share the love through kindness. That could be done on any day but let’s start with one and work from there. Small steps.

Okay, your turn. Some of you shared your confessions last week. Thank you for being brave. I’ve shared my fear of dealing with death and passion for celebrating love. What’s your confession?

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28 responses to “Saturday Night Confessions

  1. Why do innocent people confess?
    A variety of factors can contribute to a false confession during a police interrogation. Many cases have included a combination of several of these causes. They include:

    •duress
    •coercion
    •intoxication
    •diminished capacity
    •mental impairment
    •ignorance of the law
    •fear of violence
    •the actual infliction of harm
    •the threat of a harsh sentence
    •Misunderstanding the situation

    Finally – Happy Valentines day!

    https://kmihran.wordpress.com/2015/02/14/a-piano-interview-with-mihran-mino-kalaydjian/

    Liked by 1 person

  2. What a beautifully written piece, Eloise. I agree with your point about love and kindness. So sorry to hear about your mother. I haven’t been on your site long enough to know the full story – but my heart goes out to you anyway. Ali xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Ali. I was just thinking right now that I have to go back to the hospital and it’s going to be a long day. Never mind, we all have challenges we have to face. Have an awesome day and thanks for commenting. Xxx

      Like

  3. Today is the 36th anniversary of the day that I met my darling wife, Joy, in the Cricketers pub at Longparish. Yesterday was Valentines Day. Which do you think is more important to me? Yet another commercial exploit the public day, or the day that I met my true love?

    Valentine’s day is just like every other day of the year to me. My love for Joy is continuous and endless!

    And excuse the following rant. I get really wound up by commercial days. There are more of them: Valentines, Trick or Treat, Black Monday, Black Friday, Red Wednesday, Digital Tuesday, Triffick Thursday, Gullibility Saturday….. OK, I’m making them up now, but you get my point.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Haha! Happy Anniversary! 17 years ago today I had a huge engagement party to the Hubble. He is like you and hates commercialised valentines, etc but as I said, I’m a romantic. I love them and enjoy thinking up something special for those days. Maybe it is the fact that I’m usually swept away by life, but I like the special days to stop and think and go a little out of my way to say, I love you or, trick or treat, or you’re awesome and I got you something, etc. I guess I’m a sucker for those days.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Unfortunately, I feel compelled to add Christmas and Easter to my list of commercial days too. That is very sad, but it is true, and is a sign of the age that we live in.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Aww no! We have to ignore the overly commercialised side of the holidays and focus on the intent – love, giving, sharing.

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      • I agree with you – love, giving, sharing – but every day. Society gets sucked in to spending money on more and more commercial days. Fathers day, Mothers day, plus all of the aforementioned. Lining the pockets of the moguls. That is NOT love, giving, sharing….

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      • True, but take away this moguls benefitting from those special days and it’s a nice thing. Of course give, love, be kind everyday, but on one special day, even a wildflower, sitting having a specially prepared picnic in the living room, just to stop and say, yup we are having this day. I guess we can do that any day but I like the special ones.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. I confessed last week. Do I get a break this week?

    If not, then it has something to do with rugby.

    My thoughts are with you, or mum, and the rest of your family.
    xx

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  6. If Scotland don’t give it away, the ref will give it to Wales!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Here’s my rugby confession. Although a member of Harlequins (Fifth XV) at the time, I once played for Wasps against Rosslyn Park in a New Year’s Day match. It was back in the time when rugby was an amateur sport. The number of spectators was usually less than the number of players, and we didn’t take ourselves very seriously. In fact, most of us agreed that “We’re only here for the beer!”

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