It’s 12.43am and I’m ready to chat. Suppressed emotion and a need to let my inter self out is pressing this post into a dark place. Raw script ready to crawl across the subconscious and take notes from the recesses where the eyes watch but fear to participate because it’s not socially acceptable to hear the things they want to say. That innate fear of being rejected for the projecting exceptions from the politically correct. My subconscious talking and walking free.
Read on if you dare…
Spaces between the happy and sad moments in life are secured to what is understandably disappointment or joy. The glue of society’s politeness. My darker self walks along the lonely corridors and slimy alleys behind these formal lines, laughing and cajoling the present self into an awakened state. My fight to stay civil when all I want to do is tear down the walls and depart from normality – run as fast and as wild as I can into the abyss of I don’t know what.
The unknown is the fear…like sitting in a dodgy tattoo parlour after a few too many drinks waiting for your turn on the chair. A series of moments pass, one of them clarity, and that cold shiver you feel when you see where you are wants to move you, but the smile of reassurance from the drunk companions keeps you pinned to your chair before the drunkenness smothers the clarity, gagging it into submission.
If I were in that chair I would get the Salamander I’ve dreamed of getting for so many years. Where on my body I would have it is open to suggestion…decent suggestions please! I was fortunate enough to get a temporary tattoo at a school fair and watched it move elegantly over my skin, wishing it was permanently there to keep me company. I fear too much and am slowly returning to the decent.
Another confession. I love drinking beer. Sounds ridiculous to some, but I don’t drink it in public. Yup, a worldwide confession that I will probably regret tomorrow. I’ve been brought up believing ladies do not drink beers in public, especially from a bottle or can. My mother would die if she thought of me sipping a lager and I would probably be embarrassed. I’ve braved it when I was younger with my brother at the tracks, but that was it and no one in particular was around. I drink it at home and love a can of beer (even saying that makes me cringe!) but will not accept or drink one amongst friends or family (extended). So, am I weird?
Do you have things you hide that you think make you more of a lady/gent and things you find socially acceptable to some but not to others? What lies beneath your layers of decency?
Okay, one more confession from a crazy woman who will probably want to proverbially burn this post tomorrow…
Nah! You have to share first before I divulge more! Call this the Saturday night confessions!
So who will be brave enough to share something they do or don’t do that feels socially unacceptable? I’m probably going to hear crickets and see the tumbleweed roll across my post, but it’s worth a try.
Be brave, share with me!
(I’m giving you a pathetic pouty face right now!)
Looking forward to hearing from you soon…or the tumbleweed! 😉
Pics courtesy of the following pages:
Beer Cans Collection- screen-wallpapers.com
Pouty GIFs on Giphy – giphy.com