What if love isn’t so straight forward? What happens when the man of your dreams turns back into a toad? You’re left with a broken heart, several kilos of chocolate depression that turns into fat misery whilst he waltzes off with his new love. What then?
Nothing seems sure these days. Relationships are so fickle, it feels as though they should be date stamped with an expiry date like all the other commodities we stuff into our lives. Online dating sites should make their users sign agreements to date their person of choice at least fifty times before dumping them for a cuter model. That would ensure some commitment, albeit forced. Maybe it would teach people to choose better, not be so superficial when looking for a partner and take the time to get to know each other. But, even then there is the curve ball – the one that strikes you when you’re not looking…crazy infatuation!
Here’s the skinny. A young woman shared her tale with me and I’d love your opinion.
You’re a focused, strong willed, strong minded woman who would never cheat with a man already in a relationship. In fact, you despise people like that and tell it to their faces. One unsuspecting day, you meet a guy who doesn’t clock on your radar but through pure chance, you start talking. Working together and socialising forces a friendship that might not have existed before and soon enough you realise you have the same dreams, goals, objectives in life. Just when you’re about to tell your friends that you’ve found you’re MacDreamy, he mentions his girlfriend!
Sanity screams, “WALK AWAY! WALK AWAY,” but a little voice inside, the teeniest tiniest voice mentions the fact that you’re just friends. Nothing is going on. You’re work colleagues and of course you’ll get a chance to meet his girlfriend. After weeks of waiting, you don’t. You find out he’s been in a long distance relationship with her for a while now and he’s not thinking of marriage.
Now what do you do?
Walk away from the man of your dreams or fight to win him over for yourself?
Being the self righteous woman who tries to do no wrong, you tell it to him straight and threaten to walk away. He points out that you’re just friends so what’s the matter with that and the slow spiral begins. Coffees in the office kitchen turn into drinks after work with colleagues and soon you’re making plans to meet for dinner – with other friends of course (on occasion). The reality is you’re spending so much time together you can’t imagine not messaging him with a funny quote in the middle of the night of waking up to a morning greeting from him and a caring message to brighten the middle of your day.
Does anyone else see the blurred line?
Boundaries are tested and a kiss or two escapes the net. You’re drawn to his caring, intelligent nature and thrive on his attention to detail in your life and work. He’s fast becoming someone you can rely on and it feels good to share your future dreams, which he adds to with his own dreams including you.
Ding Dong! A Visitor Calls.
Things come to a head when his girlfriend makes plans to visit and he suddenly becomes distant and less engaged in this “friendship”. You decide to broach the subject of your crazy non-feelings again and suddenly break down, asking him to choose you, pick you, love you or bugger off and stop acting like a boyfriend.
He apologises for leading you on and agrees to let you go, pleading forgiveness and saying how much he will miss you. He tells you how much harder it’s going to be as time goes on, but by that time you’re not listening. Your heart is broken.
I would love to hear both sides, a man’s perspective and woman’s perspective to how to deal with this.
Pics courtesy of inspireleads.com, torange.us and nataliewall pics