One ‘o clock in the morning and I have just logged off, unplugging myself from the world for the night. The house is silent and I’ve already performed my ghost walk; the last walk of the night checking windows, doors, children and pets before collapsing as quietly as possible next to my husband’s inert body.
My mind slowly relaxes as I drift off into…whisper whisper whisper…my nose scrunches as I squeeze my eyes shut trying to block them out.
If I could hold you just for a minute of the day Oh no! Maybe if I ignore them, they will go to sleep!
I wouldn’t waste a second without holding you close Even worse, a cheesy poem!
Someone switches on the red light and the grey chambers light up…
Holding you, touching you, loving you Their voices are stronger and someone is playing music to accompany this crap!
Suddenly a deep bassoon plays and everybody is up. Eyes wide open, I shake my head trying to shut out the music, the voices in rhyme and the annoying little voice screaming incessantly Write it down! Write it down!
Okay! I sit up, reach for my IPad and fire the bad boy up. Everyone watches in silent anticipation. I wait. Still silent. I want to scream, come on! Slowly the whispers start up again…
If you were with me now
I’d hold you tight
Love you so
With all my might
Chorus singers join in…
Darkness comes with shadows near
Time runs out so quickly here
I got up for this? It’s got to get better than that. I slowly lower my fingers, hoping the pause might give them time to rustle up something good. A monotone drip pipes up from the dark edges of the grey matter…
Every time we say good-bye,
A little part of me regrets
The moments I wasted not telling you
The love I’ve felt since we’ve met.
Every moment shared is so fleeting
Tomorrow might just be the last
So let me say before leaving…
That’s it! I save and close the app down. Voices rattle to and fro arguing the last line. I settle myself, ignoring the battle. Someone reluctantly turns out the red light and the grey chambers slowly shut down. One by one the voices grow silent, until at last, peace.
My body relaxes, limbs grow limp. Eyes feel heavy and I can feel sleep approaching.
Shall we blog it? the tiniest of voices asks. Grr.