Who Are You Again?

Voile curtains drift up and down as the soft wind breathes in and out. Late evening sun sends out a golden halo over trees, buildings and plants, leaving a warmth in the air. The sound of Wimbledon barks out the scores downstairs as I ponder over my blog today. And what a day it was!

Have you ever been drawn to anger in such a way that it makes you act out of character? That was me, today. I hang my head in shame as I think of how ridiculously I behaved. Here comes the confession…I screamed at my son in the middle of a car park because of his rude comment when leaving the car. I’m not a mild mannered person in general, but I am no screamer! Something snapped inside of me and I undid my seatbelt, stepped out of the car and screamed at him to come back to where I stood, hands on hips no less.

My friends with older children always moaned and groaned, saying what awful creatures teenagers are. I would smile politely (smugly if I’m honest) and quietly promise myself I would never be one of those mums that constantly whined about her kids. Oh, how I eat my humble pie! Stuttering, screaming, practically spitting out my lecture at my son, I have officially wiped out all the goodness of years of control. He has managed to unlock a beast I never knew existed within me. The quiet, sweet tempered gentleman with lovely manners I raised has been replaced by a dark, negative monster that refuses to do anything I say. Temptation to empty the shelves with books on how to exorcise demons is very close.

The irony is that I watched the younger mothers in the car park holding their toddlers, watching me and clucking away like mother hens. Their looks said a thousand words. They would never speak to their son in that way. What an awful mother; so vocal and absurdly angry. They will not be making that same mistake. I watched them and smiled. Some of my sanity returned and I left my son to continue his walk to school whilst I climbed back into my car and took deep breaths.

I might have slipped off the deep end and practically drowned in uncontrollable anger today but I had one happy thought in my head. My son was halfway through the terrible teens. For those naive mothers with their perfect toddlers, life was only beginning. I drove my other children to school with a wickedly wide smile on my face. Should I have passed on the message of what was to come? What do you think?