Who Are You Again?

Voile curtains drift up and down as the soft wind breathes in and out. Late evening sun sends out a golden halo over trees, buildings and plants, leaving a warmth in the air. The sound of Wimbledon barks out the scores downstairs as I ponder over my blog today. And what a day it was!

Have you ever been drawn to anger in such a way that it makes you act out of character? That was me, today. I hang my head in shame as I think of how ridiculously I behaved. Here comes the confession…I screamed at my son in the middle of a car park because of his rude comment when leaving the car. I’m not a mild mannered person in general, but I am no screamer! Something snapped inside of me and I undid my seatbelt, stepped out of the car and screamed at him to come back to where I stood, hands on hips no less.

My friends with older children always moaned and groaned, saying what awful creatures teenagers are. I would smile politely (smugly if I’m honest) and quietly promise myself I would never be one of those mums that constantly whined about her kids. Oh, how I eat my humble pie! Stuttering, screaming, practically spitting out my lecture at my son, I have officially wiped out all the goodness of years of control. He has managed to unlock a beast I never knew existed within me. The quiet, sweet tempered gentleman with lovely manners I raised has been replaced by a dark, negative monster that refuses to do anything I say. Temptation to empty the shelves with books on how to exorcise demons is very close.

The irony is that I watched the younger mothers in the car park holding their toddlers, watching me and clucking away like mother hens. Their looks said a thousand words. They would never speak to their son in that way. What an awful mother; so vocal and absurdly angry. They will not be making that same mistake. I watched them and smiled. Some of my sanity returned and I left my son to continue his walk to school whilst I climbed back into my car and took deep breaths.

I might have slipped off the deep end and practically drowned in uncontrollable anger today but I had one happy thought in my head. My son was halfway through the terrible teens. For those naive mothers with their perfect toddlers, life was only beginning. I drove my other children to school with a wickedly wide smile on my face. Should I have passed on the message of what was to come? What do you think?

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7 responses to “Who Are You Again?

  1. I can easily sympathise with you 😉 not only did I teach teenagers for almost 30 years, but I also had 3 of my own… 😦 The only good thing about adolescence is that (fortunately) it is transitory (for most!). By the way, I’m sure you did and said the right thing, mothers (almost) always do, remember that!

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  2. . I well remember the days and the awful feeling when the breast stormed out of me. I can assure you it passes and you will “grow up ” along with your son. Being a hot or cool mom is OK. It’s being indifferent enough not to get mad and yell that is not OK.

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  3. I well remember the awful feeling when the beast roared out of me. I assure you that when your son grows up you will outgrow the urge to yell at him. It’s OK to be a hot-headed or cool mom. What doesn’t work is being indifferent..

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  4. Pingback: Breaking Boundaries | Thoughts by Mello-Elo

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